


Bear Therapy

by tptigger



Series: The Jeanie Quartet [3]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Episode: s01e15 Will You Take My Hand?, From 1x10, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kid Fic, M/M, oscillates between angst and ridiculous cuteness, sometimes in the same sentence, takes place after the medal ceremony but before the last few scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 09:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17444372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tptigger/pseuds/tptigger
Summary: Jeanie has some very specific ways to help Uncle Paul deal with Uncle Hugh's death.





	Bear Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to EmmaKeladry for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

The medal ceremony was harder than Paul expected. He knew he was getting promoted. He knew he would be receiving Hugh's posthumous medal on his behalf. He did not know that from the moment Hugh's medal touched his hand, he would be holding back a flood of tears.

He couldn't break down. Not yet. He had so much to get through first. He stroked the medal, willing the weight to comfort him as Burnham spoke about what Starfleet was supposed to be. Hugh would've agreed with her--the thought made the tears threaten to fall anew.

Even harder was that Hugh's parents, sister, and her kids were here. At least Paul was pretty sure those were Freddy and James sitting next to her--they had grown so much. He didn't want to face any of them.

He couldn't cry, not now. He'd spotted his father and brother sitting in the back. He assumed that his mom, sister-in-law, Jeanie, and Andy were there and he just couldn't see them. Besides the breakdown in discipline, Jeanie had probably seen her Uncle Paul cry enough for a lifetime after her mother died.

It seemed like forever before the medal ceremony finally ended and he was able to file out with the rest of the crew into the crowd and look for his family.

He wasn't sure if he was relieved or frustrated that he found Hugh's family first. "Cassie," Paul said to Hugh's mother, searching for words.

She held out her arms, and he stepped into them, giving her a quick hug. Relief washed over him: he'd been afraid she would blame him for Hugh's death.

Paul reached into his pocket and then offered her Hugh's medal. "Do you want..."

"He would want you to have it," Cassie said, her voice thick with emotion.

Paul shoved it back in his pocket, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Uncle Paul?" Freddy asked from beside him. James stood next to him, looking equally unsure.

They'd lost their father at a young age, and Hugh had been doing his best to pick up the slack--Paul had joined him about the time they got married. With Hugh gone...

Paul held his arms open. "C'mere."

They threw themselves into his arms, hugging him tight.

"If you want to call me about something, you call, ok? If you would've called Uncle Hugh, you can call me."

James, who'd been about one when their father had disappeared, started sniffling.

Paul kissed the top of his head. "Love is not a light switch, kiddo. I'm not going anywhere."

He held them tight for another minute, and then they started getting squirmy. Paul suppressed an eye roll, but let them go, only for their mother to grab him.

"Thank you," Alexa said.

He squeezed her back, then let go so he could look her in the eyes. "Look, I know we've been gone for nine months... I've been..." He sighed. "I'm all over the place, and I'm sure you've made other arrangements for the boys by now for if something happens to you but if you don't like them...." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "This is harder than I thought it was going to be. I know you never felt right about sending them to your cousin and that's why you named me and Hugh their guardians and just because he's gone doesn't mean it can't be me."

Tears were welling up in Alexa's eyes. "Paul..."

"No, seriously, I'll still take them. I'm not Hugh, I'm probably less than half the man he was, but I love those boys and if you want me to take them I will, no hesitation."

Alexa hugged him, hard, sobbing into his shoulder. Paul wrapped his arms around around her, holding her close. "I'll tell you the same thing I told those boys, if you need me, I'm here for you."

It was awhile before she let go.

* * *

Paul finally walked away from Hugh's family with little relief. No one was blaming him for Hugh's death, but Paul still felt awful, because most of the details about Hugh's death were classified and he couldn't tell them very much. In the end, Alexa had promised him paperwork for taking the boys--her relief at not having to send them to Hugh's cousin was palpable. 

"Uncle Paul!"

Paul turned to the sound of Jeanie's voice, leaning down and bracing himself--but she was taller than he was expecting, so he straightened out--just at the moment she collided with him at full speed. He stumbled back a couple steps. "Hey, Sprite. What is your Uncle Jack feeding you? Can you reach the bugs on the top branches now?"

"No, but Aunt Amy is threatening to move the cookie jar to a higher shelf because I can reach that." Jeanie said into his ear.

"You should probably eat more fruit--more vitamins for all that growing you're doing." Paul kissed the top of her head. 

Jeanie shifted, as if starting to let go, then leaned back into the hug, whispering into his ear. "I miss Uncle Hugh, too." She followed it up with a kiss to his cheek, then settled her arms around his waist, her face snuggled into his chest.

Paul gave her an extra squeeze in acknowledgement as he searched for words, using the change in her grip to straighten up all the way. She hadn't needed to lose both of her parents and her favorite uncles in the same year. What did you say to someone who had been through that?

He was saved from finding words by his mother enveloping them both into her arms, sobbing. "My baby."

"I love you, Mom," Paul said, releasing one arm from Jeanie's back and wriggling it out from between them so that he could hug her back.

She held him tightly.

"Don't squish Jeanie," Paul said. He didn't really want to make her let go if she didn't want to, but he wanted her to be able to breathe.

His mother replied by kissing both of his cheeks and then resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

"Try not to, Mom," Paul replied. It wasn't really his fault? Lorca was the one doing the piloting during that last jump, but it was classified. He wished he could promise her he wouldn't scare her again, that he would stay. That he didn't want her breath to hitch every time she thought of him like every time he thought of Hugh. What had he done to her, these past nine months?

He needed to keep it together. 

When she let go, his father pulled him into a bear hug, Jeanie was still clinging to his waist.

"Hi, Dad."

"We missed you."

"I've missed you too," Paul said.

Jack was next, quickly followed by Amy.

"Jeanie, let Uncle Paul have some breathing space," Amy said.

Jeanie shook her head.

"She's fine," Paul added. He didn't mind, it felt good, having Jeanie's warm body snuggled against him. Grounding him. Things were so surreal.

A young man was hanging back, standing next to Jack. Why was...

"Andy?" Paul asked. "I barely recognized you. Jack, what are you feeding these kids?"

Andy walked up, looking a little tentative.

Paul held out an arm. "I don't think we're prying your cousin away anytime soon."

"She missed you," Andy said, going in for the hug. "I did too," he whispered in Paul's ear.

Paul squeezed him back, glad that no one had gone for "I'm sorry." Jeanie's statement he could take, but everyone apologizing? No. 

"How long are you home? Do you want to Sit for Hugh? We can set it up at our place. Or did you already?" his mother asked.

"We ship out in the morning, and we're maybe going to do something on the ship?" Paul said. He shrugged. "I mean, we did a thing after...."

"You Sat for Mommy?" Jeanie asked, sounding a little incredulous.

"Yes, sweetie, I did," Paul said, stroking her hair.

Jeanie leaned her face into his chest, and Paul felt a little wistful that there was no comfortable way to offer his shoulder to her.

"You could do it here," his mother repeated.

"Those are your friends, Mom," Paul said. "Mine are on the ship." Such as they were, anyway. "Can you drop it? I'm here tonight, and I want to spend it with you."

"OK." His mom rubbed his arm, frowning as her hand reached the implants. "You still can't tell me what that's about."

Paul shook his head. "No. Sorry, Mom."

"Mom!"

Paul's head turned as he followed the sound of Tilly's agonized voice.

He couldn't hear what Tilly's mother said to her, but the look on Tilly's face and some of the stories she'd told... "Hey, Jeanie, you want to go say hello to Cadet--excuse me, Ensign Tilly?"

Jeanie looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Can we?"

"Yes, but you're going to have to let go of my waist."

Jeanie did, holding out her hand to Paul. Paul accepted it, suspecting that he would be holding her hand the rest of the evening.

"Excuse us a minute," Paul said to his family. He led Jeanie over to where Tilly and her mother were..

"And I don't know why they even gave you a promotion. If the way you keep your hair is indicative of your attention to detail..."

"Actually, ma'am, Ensign Tilly always keeps her hair regulation," Paul said, because it was the sort of smart aleck remark that Hugh might make, "and as her commanding officer I've found her to be resourceful, dependable, and whip smart. She came up with exceedingly brilliant and creative methods of saving both the ship and my life. She earned that promotion and you should be very proud of her."

Tilly’s jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered.

"And, for the record, having seen her hair straightened, I think it looks better curly."

"Thank you Lieutenant... Commander," Tilly added his new rank hastily.

"I want to be like Ensign Tilly when I grow up," Jeanie added.

Tilly flushed. Then blinked. "Oh my gosh, Jeanie, have you been doing extra stretching exercises to get to arboreal insects?"

Tilly's mom snorted. "You can't expect someone that age to know what arboreal means."

"She means bugs that live in trees," Jeanie said matter-of-factly, in a way that reminded Paul of the first time Stacy replied to something their parents had been spelling out. "Congratulations, Ensign Tilly."

"Thank you, kiddo," Tilly said, holding her arms open for a hug.

Jeanie ran over and hugged her at full speed. "I'm glad you're OK."

Paul winced; he had a bad feeling about this.

"You must miss your Uncle Hugh, he loved you very much," Tilly said.

Jeanie nodded.

Tilly whispered something in Jeanie's ear. Jeanie nodded solemnly, and came back to Paul, taking his hand.

Paul kind of wanted to stay around and protect Tilly from her mother, but he knew he was pushing it. "We should probably get back to your grandma, huh?" he said to Jeanie.

Jeanie nodded. "Bye, Ensign Tilly."

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Tilly. You should be very proud."

Paul led Jeanie away from them, back towards his family.

"Uncle Paul, can you bend down?" Jeanie asked.

Paul did. "Why?"

Jeanie hugged him and then kissed his cheek. "That was from Ensign Tilly."

Paul blinked, then led Jeanie back towards his family.

* * *

They started walking out of the auditorium and Jeanie, still holding tightly to Paul's hand, started looking between Paul and Jack.

"What's up, kiddo?" Paul asked.

"Teddy bears," Andy said from where he was walking on Jeanie's other side.

Paul raised an eyebrow. "You want to go to that make a bear place on the grounds?"

It was for Starfleet officers' families, a kind of morale booster thing. Often for separated spouses, or kids left at home. No one would question a niece--or nephew if that's what Andy wanted too--but...

Jeanie nodded, her eyes wide. "Bear Engineering."

Paul looked at Andy, who shrugged noncommittally. Was that teenager for yes?

"What do you think, Jack?" 

"Well, Jeanie was pretty good during the ceremony, was she good saying hello to her friend?"

"A perfect angel," Paul replied. Did Jack really think he'd get a different answer?

Jack raised an eyebrow at him. His big brother had always had his number.

"No, really, she was very well behaved," Paul said, "and I didn't exactly set the best example."

"Ensign Tilly's mommy was being mean," Jeanie put in. "Uncle Paul and I set her straight."

"It's good to stick up for your friends." Jack smiled. "However, this is probably where Stacy would bring up the chocolate chip pancake incident."

"That was ages ago, Uncle Jack," Jeanie said quietly.

"Pretty sure the statute of limitations on that is significantly less than a year," Paul put in. "It's been almost a year and half!" he realized. They'd skipped so much time!

"Yeah, OK, I think you've earned it," Jack said. "You too if you want, Andy."

Andy just shrugged.

"My teenager is really rusty," Paul said. "Was that a yes or a no?"

Andy scuffed his shoes.

Jack ruffled his son's hair. "You have until we get there to decide."

Jeanie looked up at Andy with pleading eyes.

"Dad, tell Jeanie breaking out the puppy dog eyes isn't fair."

"I'm staying out of this one, kiddo," Jack replied.

Paul had to stifle a laugh. "Nice to know that Jeanie's puppy dog eyes are still irresistible."

Jeanie frowned at her cousin. "You promised."

"I promised to help you talk Uncle Paul into the thing; I did not promise to make my own," Andy said.

Jeanie's response was wide, sad eyes.

Paul had to stifle his laughter. "You honestly thought you'd have to talk me into taking you to make a bear?"

"Not just for me," Jeanie said, looking at Andy.

"I said I'd help," Andy said. "I didn't say I'd explain."

Paul narrowed his eyes. What were these little munchkins up to? He crossed his arms. "Explain what?"

"You need to make an Uncle Hugh bear," Jeanie said.

His stomach dropped into his toes. "I... what?"

"It'll help you."

Paul raised an eyebrow. Help him what? Look like a little kid? 

Andy reached into his pocket. "There's research, she's not making this up. Wanna see?"

Part of Paul wanted to tell them to mind their own business. Part of him wanted to walk away and not think about a damn thing. Part of him wanted to grab his mom's arm, drag her somewhere private and bawl into her shoulder.

Jeanie looked up at Paul, her eyes wide, blinking exaggeratedly. "Please, Uncle Paul, it would make you feel better."

Paul suppressed an eyeroll. It wouldn't. Jeanie was six years old though--no, seven, they'd jumped right over her birthday--how did you explain to a seven year old that a teddy bear won't make a grown man feel better? Paul took a deep breath. They were still in public, he needed to hold it together.

"Jeanie, don't be a pain," Jack said, laying a gentle hand on the back of Paul's neck. "This needs to be about your Uncle Paul."

Jeanie pouted. 

"Would it make _you_ feel better?" Paul asked. He could sneak the bear into Jeanie's luggage and she wouldn't know until she got back to Proxima. And with everything that kid had been through, two teddy bears didn't sound like a bad idea.

Jeanie nodded.

"OK. Where is this place?"

Jack raised an eyebrow at Paul, who just shrugged. 

Jeanie started dragging him towards an exit.

"Ow, Sprite, please don't dislocate my arm."

"Sorry," Jeanie said, and started leading him at a more sedate pace.

* * *

Paul tried not to sigh as Jeanie led him into Bear Engineering. He was confronted with a wide variety of bears: basic brown, rainbow, lime green, and hot pink. Some had pointy, Vulcan ears. A subset of those had two inch fangs protruding from their mouths--the shelf indicated they were sehlats. There were blue bears with white hair and antennae, and creatures with big, leathery wings that had the antennae and white hair, but were bright red. A few bears had wrinkled faces--Paul wondered if those would stuff well or if there was a trick to them--tusks, and bushy beards.

Jeanie surveyed the selection carefully. "Wow."

Andy snorted. "They missed a couple Federation members I think."

Paul offered him a padd attached to the shelf with a long cord. "Are you looking for something specific? Looks like they have patterns for a lot more." Andy shook his head, pushing the book back towards Paul, so he flipped through a few images. "This is very thorough. I'm pretty sure Saru is the only Kelpien in Starfleet."

Jeanie, in the meantime, had picked out a rainbow bear, and was looking at him with big eyes.

"You can pick out whichever bear you want, Sprite. Even if you're going to dress it like me."

"You need to pick out an Uncle Hugh bear."

Paul sighed. "Jeanie..."

Andy reached into his pocket. "I'm telling you, there's research to back this up. She didn't just pull it... OK, actually, she did pull it out of thin air and I did a search to prove her wrong but she won."

Paul chuckled. "Your dad and I used to have arguments that ended that way." He accepted the phone, not bothering to point out that Andy hadn't unlocked it.

"Please, Uncle Paul," Jeanie said with big eyes.

"She's pulling out the puppy dog eyes, Uncle Paul," Andy said. "You've lost."

"Sure about that?" Paul asked, handing back the phone. He knew it was a losing fight, but if he gave in too soon he'd worry his mom.

Andy looked up at him, making his eyes very wide and batting them in an exaggerated manner.

"Et tu brute?"

"Come on, Uncle Paul, you know you want to," Andy said, looking wistfully at the bin of purple bears and glancing towards the machine that you could put recordings of your voice into the bears with.

Oh, kid, really?

Paul pulled a purple bear out of the bin, holding it out to Andy. "Tell you what, I will if you will."

"Deal," Andy said, instantly, accepting the purple bear.

Paul couldn't help but wonder if this had been an elaborate plan to get him to agree to build his own bear. Except Andy was a teenager, so probably not. Paul looked at the bins.

"One of those?" Jeanie suggested, pointing at two bins of bears, one dark brown and one light.

Paul's first thought was that Hugh's skin color was in between and neither would do him justice. His second thought was if he was humoring his niece and convincing his nephew to do something he wanted to do anyway, why did it matter?

"Which do you think?" Paul asked the kids.

Andy shrugged. 

"That one," Jeanie said pointing to the lighter brown, "it's a little closer."

"OK," Paul said. He was going to basically let Jeanie build this thing and then the Uncle Hugh bear would get lonely and have to stay with the Uncle Paul bear. That might work. Upon reflection, he realized sneaking it into her luggage would probably mean Jack calling and yelling at him for causing Jeanie to bawl her eyes out when she found it. And if the "Uncle Paul bear is going to get lonely" didn't work, he could at least blame his niece for the thing's entire existence. He picked up the unstuffed bear shell and gently corralled the kids into the line for the recorder.

Jeanie looked up at him, eyes narrowing. "Uncle Hugh bear doesn't need a sound."

"Hey, if we're doing this, I'm putting my voice in both of your bears," Paul ruffled her hair. He could stick the kids voices in his, maybe?

Jeanie's eyes widened. A quick glance at Andy saw him sag with relief. It was possible Paul should have made him ask, but... no. What if he didn't?

"What's up, Andy?"

He shrugged, noncommittally.

"He's just mad about coming here 'cause he wanted to go to a party back home that a girl was going to," Jeanie said.

Andy reached for Jeanie, who darted to Paul's other side, snuggling into him.

"Oh?" Paul asked.

"You weren't supposed to tell, you twerp."

"You said not to tell your parents; you didn't say anything about Uncle Paul!"

"That's because...." Andy stopped, a blush creeping into his cheeks.

Paul squeezed Andy's shoulder, drawing him in. "Your secret's safe with me. Don't worry, I'm sure there will be other chances to talk to her."

"What would you know about talking to girls?" Andy asked.

Paul snorted. "They're half the population, you goofus. You talk to them like you talk to anyone else."

"I doubt you talked to Uncle Hugh like you did to anyone else," Andy snapped. 

Paul's arm dropped as he tensed. Sure he did. Hugh _liked it_! That was the point. Hugh threw it back. No one else ever threw it back.

Andy paled. "I..." Andy started.

Oh, no, kiddo, don't get bent out of shape for that. Paul wrapped an arm around his shoulders, drawing him close. "It's OK. You can talk about him. And I did you know. Have I never told you this story?"

Andy shook his head.

Jeanie leaned back against Paul, hugging the still limp rainbow bear husk to her.

Paul ran a gentle hand through her hair, and started to tell Andy and Jeanie about snarking about Hugh's humming in a little cafe on Alpha Centauri.

* * *

"OK, kids, your turn," Paul said as he handed Andy the chip with the message that he'd recorded for Andy's bear.

"What?" Andy said.

"No, it's an Uncle Hugh bear," Jeanie said. "It doesn't get our voices."

Paul resisted the urge to rub the bridge of his nose. These kids were stubborn as.... their uncle, if he was honest with himself. "Guys..."

"Please, Uncle Paul, trust us." Jeanie looked up at him with level 10 puppy dog eyes.

Paul sighed. He was just going to have to go back to humoring them, wasn't he? "OK."

He stood, letting a Lt. Commander holding a child who was probably four and the size he kept _thinking_ Jeanie should be, approach the recording station. They got in line for the stuffing machine.

Jeanie leaned into Paul's side, resting her cheek against his chest.

"You doing OK there kiddo?" Paul asked, mentally trying to remember the time difference between Proxima and France. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm with his hand. Was he going to end up carrying a sleeping kid out of here? Seven was too old to melt down when she was tired, right?

"I just missed you." Jeanie snuggled closer.

Aw, kiddo. Paul kissed the top of her head. "I missed you too."

The woman minding the giant, yellow bin with cotton frothing around in it like a dry spin cycle beckoned them forward. "So who's first?"

Oh, crap. Paul hadn't thought of that. Would it cause...

"You're up, Jeanie," Andy said.

Paul should've realized that Andy would be the mature one.

"Now, do you want your new friend firm, or squishy?"

Jeanie frowned. "Both?"

"In between it is," the woman said, accepting the rainbow bear from Jeanie. She pushed the tube into the bear, expertly dispensing stuffing with a footpedal.

"Is this your regular duty?" Paul asked.

"My parents owned one of these places in the malls," she replied. "I used to help out--so when we have a big ceremony like this, it's all hands on deck. It's good to stay in practice."

She handed the bear back to Jeanie. "Give them a squeeze and tell me what you think."

Jeanie squeezed the bear gently. "Maybe a little more stuffing, please?"

"Absolutely," the woman said, taking it back. She added a little stuffing and handed it back to Jeanie. "How about now?"

"Perfect, thank you."

"OK. I need you to grab one of those hearts out of there," she indicated a bin.

Jeanie did.

"Now, rub it between your hands so it gets good and warm."

Jeanie rubbed it, grinning.

"OK, now close your eyes very tight and make a wish." The woman paused. "Ready?"

Jeanie nodded. "OK."

"Give it a kiss."

Jeanie kissed it and then held it up to Paul. "Can you kiss it too, please?"

Paul accepted the heart, gave it a quick kiss, and then handed it back to Jeanie. He risked a look at the officer running the stuffing machine, but she just smiled at him. 

"Give me the heart."

Jeanie handed it over. The woman put the heart into the bear, pulled on the strings, tied them off, and then used scissors hanging from a lanyard on her neck to trim off the ends. She handed Jeanie the bear.

Jeanie hugged it and gave it a big kiss.

Andy gave Paul a skeptical look.

"Do you want that sound disk moving around in what looks like a stuffed bear skin?" Paul asked.

Andy shook his head, handing the woman the bear he'd picked out. He turned to Jeanie. "Mind if I squeeze his arm?"

Jeanie offered him the bear.

"About that firm?" Andy asked.

Paul poked Andy in the ribs.

"Please."

The woman chuckled as she filled the bear. "I won't tell anyone if you give it a test squeeze," she said as she handed it back.

Andy squeezed it with his hands."OK." He paused as he handed the woman the bear back. "Do I have to do the thing with the heart?"

"No," she replied.

"Yes," said Jeanie.

"Maybe you could do it for me?" Andy suggested.

"Nope, it's your bear you have to do it," Jeanie said sagely. "Besides, if you don't do it, Uncle Paul won't do it and Uncle Paul has to do it."

He was going to be stuck with this damn bear wasn't he?

Andy looked at Paul appraisingly, then sighed and took a heart out of the bin, rubbing it between his hands like he was warming his hands over a fire. Very fast.

"Don't hurt it," Jeanie said.

Andy rolled his eyes but slowed down. He presented the heart to Jeanie. "You kiss it."

Jeanie shook her head.

Paul relieved Andy of the heart and kissed it before a fight ensued.

"Andy needs to kiss it too."

Andy rolled his eyes, but gave the heart a quick peck and thrusting it quickly at the woman doing the stuffing before someone could see.

Paul cringed apologetically, but she just winked at him.

Andy was probably not the first slightly reluctant teenager who had gone through her line. 

"You need to make a wish," Jeanie prompted.

"I did," Andy said.

The woman placed the heart in side, sewed up the bear, and then handed it to Andy.

"And for this friend?" the woman asked, taking the soft shell that Paul offered her.

Paul shrugged. What did it matter? No matter how much cotton fluff went into the bear, it wouldn't be able to hug him back. It wouldn't laugh at his jokes or talk through his latest experiment with him. It would just...

"It should be firm like Uncle Hugh," Jeanie said.

Paul gestured towards her, wincing a little. He wanted to thank Jeanie for helping him decide, but he wasn't sure how to say so without letting her know how stuck in his head he'd almost gotten.

"You're not the only one, Commander. Not even tonight," the woman said gently as she placed the bear on the stuffing hose.

Jeanie poked him gently with her rainbow bear.

Paul raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" Jeanie blinked at him angelically.

Paul sighed. "Jeanie, why are you poking me?"

"I'm not poking you."

Paul rolled his eyes. Not this game. They used to play it with Polka Dots, her stuffed butterfly. Wasn't she too old for this game? "OK, Jeanie, why is mini-me poking me?"

"Um..." Jeanie paused. Stuck.

Paul squatted down. "Polka Dots would have been asking directions for flowers, wouldn't she?"

"Yeah," Jeanie said.

"Bears don't like flowers. What do bears like?" Paul batted a stray strand of hair away from her eyes.

"Honey. Fish. Um..."

There was a gentle cough.

The commander was holding out the bear for Paul's inspection.

"Hey, Jeanie, give the Uncle Hugh bear a squeeze and tell me if it's firm enough?" Paul asked. If he tried hugging that thing, he'd probably start bawling in front of everyone on.

Jeanie handed him his mini-me and accepted the Hugh bear, giving it as squeeze. "I think so. You should try it though."

He wasn't getting out of this, was he?

He gave the bear a quick squeeze, glad he didn't see any of his lab staff nearby. "That works."

He handed the bear back, taking a heart, it was probably some kind of satin, but it was smooth, feeling soft and comforting as he rubbed it gently between his hands. "Wish first?"

"It'll work that way too."

Paul closed his eyes, not really sure what to wish for. Some peace he guessed? He could do with a quieter brain. He kissed the heart, because he knew Jeanie would insist. Then he held the heart out to her. "You too, kiddo."

Jeanie kissed it and handed it back. Paul held the heart out to Andy.

"Seriously?" Andy asked.

"Please, squirt."

"Only if you stop calling me that, it's like my kid name."

"Deal," Paul said.

Andy accepted the heart, placed it to his lips quickly, then laid it gently in Paul's outstretched hand.

Paul handed it back to the commander. "Here you go."

"Thanks." She placed in the bear, stitched it up, and handed it to Paul. "There you go, Commander. Don't forget you'll want to give them a good bath with the brushes before you dress them."

"Thank you," Jeanie and Paul said in unison.

Paul coughed.

"Thank you," Andy added.

"Ooh, there's a bath station with no line," Jeanie said heading for it.

Andy looked at Paul pleadingly.

"Welcome to being a big brother, kiddo." Paul wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leading him after Jeanie.

* * *

Paul wasn't surprised when Jeanie handed him a hanger holding tiny Discovery Medical whites. He was, however, surprised when Andy, after grabbing a Discovery blue uniform with silver trim off of a high shelf and handing it to Jeanie, reached back up and took a second one for himself.

Paul raised an eyebrow at his nephew.

Andy shrugged. "Got this far. Might as well go all in."

Jeanie, meanwhile had finished dressing her bear and held it up for Paul's inspection.

"That looks good," Paul said as he forced his bear's head through the hole in its shirt.

Jeanie wandered over to the accessories as Paul and Andy finished dressing their bears.

"Give me the hanger things with the scan tags," Paul instructed Andy, who shrugged and did so.

Jeanie was looking wistfully at a bunch of headbands that looked like bug antennae.

"The orange, definitely," Paul said, indicating a pair of radioactive orange antennae with curling ends that made them look like they belonged to a butterfly.

Jeanie looked up at him. "Seriously?"

"Which color did you think of instead?"

"That one but..."

Paul took a pair down from the hook and gently placed them on Bear-Paul's head. "Looks good to me."

Jeanie looked from him to the bear and back. "They look kind like Polka Dots' antennae."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

Jeanie squinted at him.

"Do you want the antennae?" Paul asked gently.

Jeanie scuffed her shoes. "You don't have antennae."

Paul picked up the headband. "OK, yeah, it's a little small for my head, but I bet we can find a replicator program for some in my size."

Jeanie tilted her head. "Why...?"

"Because if you want to put antennae on your bear, you should put antennae on your bear."

"OK," Jeanie said.

"The orange?" Paul asked.

Jeanie nodded. 

Paul placed the antennae back on his doppelganger's head. "Looks great to me."

"So if I got this..." Andy asked.

Paul knew Andy was smirking from the sound of his voice, he turned to see Andy holding up a hat shaped like a mushroom.

If Paul didn't 100% know that his research was classified, he'd have bet some jerk had synthesized a bunch of those just for the benefit of Discovery's crew. "Go for it," Paul said, giving Andy a thumbs up.

Andy looked slightly disappointed, but put the mushroom on his bear's head. "Hey, Uncle Paul, do you want some opera glasses for Uncle Hugh-bear?" He held up a pair in hot pink.

Paul blinked at him. "Did you just make a pun?"

Andy squinted at him.

"You know his full name was Hubert, right?"

Andy blushed. "He'd have liked purple better." He started digging through the bin of opera glasses. 

Paul chuckled. "You're probably right." He shook his head. "You know, I think I see a wood saw if you want..." he broke off as Andy swatted him playfully.

"It's your bear, Andy, if you want..."

Andy shook his head.

"OK, let's go let them update their inventory and get out of the way," Paul said. The place was getting more packed and Paul wanted to get out of there before someone wanted to apologize for his loss or thank him for Hugh's sacrifice or something else that would make him start crying in front of everyone. Especially Jeanie. She'd probably had enough of Paul crying in front of her for a lifetime.

"Uncle Hughbear still needs purple opera glasses," Jeanie said.

"Found them!" Andy said triumphantly.

"Does your Uncle Paul bear need something else, sweetie?" Paul asked.

Jeanie shook her head, looking at him with big eyes. "I think you should put Uncle Hugh's medal on the bear."

Seriously? It would... be as good a place for it as any, he guessed. For now. That was coming on Discovery with him, and he was still hoping to talk Jeanie into keeping the Hugh bear. He reached into his pocket, looked down at his own chest, then pinned the medal on the corresponding place as best he could.

"Like this?" He showed Jeanie.

She nodded.

"Come on, let's get checked out and go find your grandparents."

There were several people with scanners and padds at the front of the store scanning items for inventory management, so it wasn't long before they got their turn.

The woman with lieutenant's pips on her badge smiled at them and squatted down to Jeanie's level. "Let me see." She scanned the tag attached to his ear, and then brought the scanner to the bear's foot. It beeped.

"What did that?" Jeanie asked.

"It's a tag. People can hand the bear in to any Starfleet branch and we can get it back to its rightful owner. We just need you to fill in the contact details." The woman handed Paul the padd.

"I got it, Uncle Paul," Andy said.

"Thanks, Andy," Paul said, sighing with relief. He did not have all his brother's contact info memorized.

"Jeanie, put your bear's name in," Andy said, handing her the padd.

Jeanie accepted the padd, typed in something, and then handed it back to Andy.

Andy looked at her, and chuckled.

"Do I want to ask?" Paul asked.

"She named him Uncle Paul II," Andy said.

Paul chuckled as well.

"Let's get yours next," the woman said, reaching for Andy's bear and repeating the scanning process.

Andy giggled as he entered something on the padd. Paul had a feeling he didn't want to ask. Andy handed it back to the woman.

"Um..." She handed Paul the padd.

Andy had written "Fungus Face" as the bear's name.

"Smart aleck," Paul said. "You know your dad's going to get an email with that name in it, right?"

"Nah, I put in my email for my bear," Andy said, "Dad just gets an email for Jeanie's."

"Your funeral, kiddo," Paul said, handing the padd back to the woman. "It's fine."

She quickly scanned Paul's bear and he filled out the information without comment. Maybe they'd have replicator patterns for accessories he could send to Jeanie.

"Thank you for visiting Bear Engineering and have a great night," she said.

"You too," Paul said, corralling the kids against the incoming hoards. He found the benches where his parents, brother, and sister-in-law were sitting and guided the kids over. Then he caught a glimpse of Alexa's face in the crowd. "Can I catch up? I should see if Hugh's nephews want to make bears."

"They're your nephews too, Uncle Paul," Jeanie said firmly.

Paul kissed the top of her head. "Indeed they are."

"We'll meet you back at the hotel."

"Thanks, Mom," Paul said, handing her the Hugh bear, and went to track down Alexa.

* * *

Paul knocked on the door to the apartment his family had rented over an hour later. 

Jeanie opened the door. "We were afraid you got cornered by a sehlat."

"Sorry, kiddo, the lines had gotten longer and I wanted to be sure Freddy and James got the same chance you and Andy got." Paul stepped through, wishing she was still tiny enough that he could lift her.

Hugh probably could have. He took a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Uncle Paul?" Jeanie asked frowning.

He sighed, flopping onto the couch next to his mom. "I was just thinking that your Uncle Hugh could probably still pick you up even though I can't."

Jeanie walked over, frowning. "Think I still fit in your lap?"

His mom chuckled, wrapping an arm around Paul's shoulders.

Paul held his arms open invitingly. "Let's find out."

Jeanie climbed into his lap, snuggling her cheek against his shoulder. 

His mom was rubbing the back of his neck. Paul just closed his eyes, letting his family's presence wash over him for a time, as his mom started catching him up on all the family's gossip.

After a little while, Jack poked Jeanie. "Time to get ready for bed, kiddo."

"Don't wanna, comfortable," Jeanie said.

"Hey, Sprite, if you quit arguing with your Uncle Jack and go right now, I'll read to you," Paul wheedled.

"Okay." Jeanie hopped down off of Paul's lap and raced into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Paul's mom laughed. "She's as bad as her mother. And both of her uncles, come to think of it."

"And her cousin at that age," Jack said.

"Here, in case you need a placeholder for Jeanie," Andy said mischievously, handing him the Hugh Bear.

Paul accepted the bear and turned to Jack. "Do you think it would work if I told her the Uncle Hugh Bear would miss the Uncle Paul Bear and wanted to stay."

"There's no way," Andy said. "I heard about the plan from like, the second we found out we were going to the medal ceremony and there was a Bear Engineering at headquarters. It's not going to fly, Uncle Paul; take the bear home like a grown up."

Paul laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, the teenager's telling you to grow up, it's hilarious."

"No, take the teddy bear like a grown up..." Paul shook his head. "I'm kind of all over the place right now."

Andy frowned, then opened his arms for a hug.

Paul hugged him, hard. 

Deciding to stay with his family overnight instead of immediately going back to Discovery was the best decision he'd made all week.

* * *

Jeanie poked her head out of the bedroom a few minutes later. She was wearing pajamas covered with caterpillars perched on top of mushrooms.

"You ready?" Paul asked.

"Did you brush your teeth?" Jack asked.

"Yes, Uncle Jack," Jeanie said, smiling. "I flossed too."

"Did you wash your face?"

"Yes, Uncle Jack."

"Did you cavort under the light of a full moon?"

"No," Jeanie giggled. "Can I?"

"Not if you want Uncle Paul to read to you," Jack said. "And you both want Uncle Paul to read to you."

Paul raised an eyebrow at that.

"You'll see," Jack said with a mysterious smile.

Paul laughed as he stood up. "C'mon, kiddo, let's get you tucked in." He placed a hand on her shoulder, guiding her to the bedroom, and to the bed where the Uncle Paul bear was settled. Paul pulled back the covers. "Any other stuffies you need?"

Jeanie shook her head. "This is the only one I have." She clambered into bed.

Paul blinked. It had been how long since she'd lost Polka Dots and there wasn't even an attempt to get her a new stuffed animal to sleep with? Wow. "I'm honored." He placed a kiss on her forehead, then smoothed the covers over her, tucking in the corner. "Is that tight enough?"

Jeanie nodded. 

"Is the Uncle Paul bear going to be OK without the Uncle Hugh bear?" Paul asked.

Jeanie wrinkled her nose, then put her ear to the bear's mouth. "He says yes but they're going to have to call each other a lot."

Paul had to stifle a laugh. Well, if she _insisted_. "I can live with that." He picked up the padd by the bedside. "Where... are you guys reading _Mary Poppins Comes Back_?"

Jeanie nodded.

"And you're on 'Balloons _and_ Balloons?"

"Yup."

Paul chuckled. "No wonder your Uncle Jack said I really wanted to read to you. This was my favorite Mary Poppins story growing up. I must've made him, and your mom, and my mom and my dad read it to me a million times."

Jeanie grinned. "And now you get to read it to me!" 

"I do," Paul said, and started to read.

* * *

"I think she's asleep Uncle Paul," Andy whispered as Paul was nearly done with the chapter.

Paul looked up to find his nephew wearing a set of striped PJs. He glanced at Jeanie. "Yeah, I guess she is."

He put the padd down. "I guess all the puppy dog eyes wore her out."

Andy chuckled. "Come wake us up before you leave in the morning, ok?"

"Will do," Paul said. He held his arms open for a hug.

Andy reached up and hugged him, then let go, started for the bed, and paused. "Um, Uncle Paul? Would you mind tucking me in? Just for old time's sake."

Paul stifled a laugh. "Well, if you're sure it's just for old time's sake."

Andy climbed into the bed and Paul smoothed the covers, planting a gentle kiss on his brow. "Sweet dreams, kiddo."

"Night," Andy replied.

Paul walked out of the kids' room, easing the door behind him. Jack and Amy had apparently retired for the evening.

Paul crashed onto the couch next to his mom, leaning his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him. 

Paul couldn't hold back anymore and just started sobbing.

"I was going to ask how you were doing, but I guess that answers my question." His mom held him tight.

Paul clung to her. "I miss him so much, Mom."

"Of course you do," she said. "I'm here, sweetheart. I'm right here. I've got you."

Hugh had said that to him, when Stacey died. Paul cried harder.

His mom held him tight, for a long time.

* * *

Later, Paul stared at the ceiling of his room in the apartment, unable to sleep. His mother had held him, letting him bawl in her arms. She was so worried, had been through so much. First losing Stacy, then Paul, then getting Paul back, only to have him fall apart on her.

And Jeanie. First her parents, then her favorite uncles. No wonder she was looking for ways to comfort him. Even silly ways.

He rolled over; Hugh would be muttering in his sleep as the bed moved, but Hugh wasn't there. The bed was so _empty_. They'd spent more of their marriage apart than either of them would have liked, but the one advantage of Starfleet coopting his research had been going home to Hugh every night. Paul rolled over again, trying to get comfortable. He wanted his partner damnit.

He sat up, taking in a huge breath. He wasn't going to sleep if he kept letting his thoughts get away from him like that. Stupid empty bed.

He looked around, his eyes resting where Hugh-bear sat on the dresser, its medical whites mocking him.

Paul got up, sighed, and picked up the bear, then climbed back into the bed. He hugged the bear tight, but despite Jeanie's assurances it didn't seem to help very much. The soft, cold plush was a poor substitute for the solid warmth of his partner in his arms.

End


End file.
